I’m The Death of You

I want to kiss him. I really want to kiss him. But I feel like I cant.

His lips pale in the light. His eyes closed – is he dreaming? I wonder if I can ask him…

‘Are you dreaming my love?’

He lies still; his shiny black hair motionless.

I sit back against the wall and wait. And think. Should I cry? Will they believe me?

What has he done?

Why did he do this? Am I to blame?

I look at him again; a birds eye view of a perfect face. I want to touch him. It feels like the first time. The first ever time our paths crossed…2 years ago. When I saw him cross the road and he dropped his – what was it, wallet? Phone? Nonetheless, I ran after him. Picked it up. Gave him the – whatever it was.

He smiled. I smiled. Then I forgot my name for a second. He asked me and I forgot. I laughed and I told him I forgot my name and he laughed and we just laughed and laughed. I can’t remember the last time we laughed like that. It was pretty much downhill a week after that. Why did we stay together? That would be anyone’s guess.

Maybe he wanted me to kill him.

Well, it worked.

The stupid son of a bitch.

You coward. You weak, self loathing cowardly son of a bitch. Leaving me this way…without even a goodbye…

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