Broken Ending

I remember the crawling…she wasn’t able to raise her head but the one thing she kept telling me was to breath…’just keep breathing’…

The space; it was dark…

When the roof started collapsing, trapping us like mice in a maze; it felt like we were dying. I even saw that white light that everyone claims to see when they’re supposed to be dying.

I started thinking of everyone I loved; my parents, my friends, my entire life, my entire network of everyone I have ever known – everyone I have ever laid eyes upon. Even that guy who walked up to me a couple of years ago to ask if I had a spare smoke – yes, even him. He was there, in my line of sight.

But –

no! wait! – I had too much to do! Wasn’t I meeting mum and dad for lunch tomorrow? And Kirsty – I had to take her down to Wollongong next weekend…she couldn’t drive herself, her car was in for a service….how would she get there? She’s relying on me…

The thoughts were rushing past, overtaking and overlapping, trying to get to some ethereal finish line….and the light kept getting whiter…brighter. Whiter.

It was moving. Up. Down. To the left.

And then to the right.

And then a voice – a male voice – asked me if I was alive. If anyone was alive ‘in there‘.

I tried to open my eyes but rubble kept falling in. Tiny little ground up pieces of building; stinging, hurting…damn it, my eyes hurt so much!

Stinging, scratching, red and raw. I couldn’t make myself cry, couldn’t tear up at all….my body had gone into complete shock. Dead shock? Nothing works when you’re dead. You can’t shed tears when you’re dead.

‘Hello?!’ the voice said again.

‘……..ahhhhh…….’ My first attempt at speaking and more pieces of broken roof or wall fell into my mouth. I spit them out, a sticky trail of concrete, saliva and shattered brick……’hellll…p……’ Nope. I couldn’t get the words out. I was dead. I was absolutely dead.

I let my body lie without resistance. Come what may.

‘I found one, Todd! I think this ones breathing,’

The voice was distant. I recognised it. He had spoken before.

But, really, it didn’t matter anymore. I had no idea where I was or how I got there. It didn’t matter. Because I was dead.

Either that or I was slowly on my way….

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