Why…

I don’t know why you matter
I dont know
Why
I waste away my time
Wondering…
If I’m on your mind

I don’t know why I care so much
About what you think
Of me
I don’t know how I’ve come to feel this way
Or why

It’s that moment in time
I remember. ..
The way you looked at me
And the way your eyes
Deceived me
How your words led me to believe
You cared so much more
Than you did

You keep me at an arms distance
Then pull me close when you need
Then you let me fall
Again. ..
Into the deep, dark hole I have dug for myself
For you

You kick the dirt
As you walk away from me
And I dont know why I keep climbing back up
Crawling…
Dragging my body
Battered…
By the time you pick me up again

And yet…
I keep climbing…
My skin now raw to the bone
Bleeding…
I don’t think you realise how much I bleed for you
How much I have bled…

I don’t think you’ll ever understand
The depths I’ll fall. ..
Even as you walk away
And you discard my love
That love I have
For you. ..

And yet I know not why I allow myself to fall
And I know not why I embrace the hope
Somehow…
One day…
You’ll bring me back to life

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About Virginia

Writer, reader, crossword puzzler and conspiracy theorist.

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