Open Mic Night

That time of the week again, doesn’t it just fly by?

I’m so glad I introduced this segment because it gives me a great impetus to write during the week. I like to have a fresh excerpt to show you all, not one I wrote 2 months ago 🙂  Tonight I’m going to share with you Emma and Adam’s second meeting. By now, Emma is aware that Adam is indeed alive but she is starting to experience bouts of confusion about what happened and what brought her to The Pines (the mental hospital she is staying at).

I have to say – it is SO exhausting writing these scenes. Mentally, I mean. I almost need to become Emma to correctly capture her feelings. Last night, I even wrote with my eyes closed for a while, imagining I was there in the room with them both, fly on the wall-ing. Exhausting, yes. Exhilirating….even more yes!! I hope you enjoy :).

They keep telling me that Adam is coming to visit again.
It’s been a week since his last visit and I’m still trying to process it.
He looked stressed. Worried. Concerned.
For me?
Was he ok?
Did I hurt him?
Is someone else hurting him?
My heart skipped a beat at the thought of another woman in his arms.
Adam was mine.
Dead or alive, he was mine.
Gary walked into my room. ‘Are you ready?’
‘For what?’
‘Adam’s here’
‘Where?’
‘Outside in the hall,’ Gary said, pointing towards the door. ‘He’s waiting to see you, remember?’
I nodded. ‘Ok’. Wrapping my arms around my waist, I sat back down on my bed, kept my eyes on the luxurious murky brown carpet. I wonder how long it’s been since they renovated this place?
I heard muffled footsteps.
I heard Adam.
I heard Gary close the door behind him.
‘Emmy,’
His voice was soft, beautiful.
I looked up and my heart broke.
My heart tore itself in two.
He was standing there. It was him.
This time I believed it.
Thank you God.
‘Why did you come again?’
He looked incredulous, like I cursed his mother.
‘What do you mean? How could I not? I love you,’
I was silent for a while. All Adam could do was look at me.
I didn’t know what to say.
I knew what I wanted to do.
I wanted to run to him, sink into his arms and stay there forever.
But how could he forgive me?
Would he ever forgive me after what I did to him?
To his family?
‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered
He came and sat down next to me on the bed.
‘For what,?’
‘I’m so sorry,’
Adam paused, realising my thought process.
‘It’s ok,’ he said finally. ‘I forgive you, we all do,’
What? We?
So they’ve been talking about me?
They’ve been sitting around the dining table talking about poor old Emma, stuck in an insane asylum, crazy and confined?
I couldn’t look at him. I felt so ashamed.
‘Whose we, Adam? Who forgives me?’
He paused. Hesitated. ‘Well, my parents, your mum, we….we catch up now and then, she’s really upset about everything that’s happened.’
‘Well, isn’t that just so sweet of her,’ I tightened the grip around my waist. ‘She’s visited me twice since I’ve been here Adam. Twice,’
My voice was getting louder which wasnt a good sign.
‘Ok,’ Adam said calmly. ‘But she does get really upset when she sees you. Rose – ‘
‘Ah, my beautiful sister Rose. Who has visited me once,’ I could feel my blood boiling inside my veins. ‘And how is she, Adam, has she received her princess gown yet? Have her and Prince Charming exchanged vows yet? Have they f**ked yet or is she still pretending to be a virgin?’
My pulse was quickening. I was starting to sweat.
Adam gently put his hand on my shoulder, thinking this gesture would calm me down.
Isn’t this lack of empathy, sympathy, anything, the reason I killed this son of a bitch in the first place?
‘Please leave, Adam. Now,’ I got off the bed and walked to the only window in the room. The sun was shining again.
I wished the same for my life.
‘Look, Em, I know – ‘
‘Oh, you know, do you?’ I turned to face him. ‘What exactly is it that you know Adam? Please, enlighten me,’
The sarcasm was beyond over used. But I couldn’t give a f**k.
I could see him trying. I could see his mind working, finding the right words to say. 
Would I spit them back at his face?
It depends on how stupid they were.
And then his eyes did that thing they do when they get sad and I melt and forget why I ever hated him for those few minutes.
His defeatist eyes that would tell me that he just didn’t know anymore. Didn’t care. This was his way of telling me I won.
But I didn’t want to win.
I wanted him to tell me I was going to be ok.
Instead, he got up and walked over to me. Softly kissed my cheek. ‘I’ll see you later, Emma,’
He left.
He left a large black hole in my heart.
He left me. I didn’t know if he would return.
An overwhelming feeling came over me and I raced over to the door, called out for Gary, trying not to cry.
Gary came running, ‘What? Is everything ok? Why didn’t you buzz me?’
I couldn’t speak. The tears were flowing. Heavy.
I pointed to the left, which was in the direction of the buildings main entrance.
‘Adam, I……..he…….’ I shook my head as the tears continued.
I made my way back into my room, Gary close behind.
‘I f**ked it up,’ I managed to say between sobs. ‘I……he didn’t say he’d be back,’
‘He will be, Emma. I saw him just now,’
‘Oh,’
‘What happened here? He said you freaked out,’
‘He said he saw my mum,’
Gary nodded. ‘Right,’
‘And they talk about me being in here, they feel sorry for me. They forgive me,’
I looked at Gary, unsure of my next question. ‘Why do they forgive me? What did I do?’

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About Virginia

Writer, reader, crossword puzzler and conspiracy theorist.

9 Responses to “Open Mic Night”

  1. Good stuff! Well done!!

    Like

  2. Very good, I could feel the tension rise throughout the conversation between Emma and Adam. Not to nit pick, but I believe the line: Whose we, Adam? Who forgives me? Ought to be: Who’s we, Adam? Who forgives me? or Who is ‘we’, Adam? Who forgives me? Hope that helps.

    Like

  3. I can see why writing this would be exhausting!

    Like

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