Open Mic Night

Today’s snippet of I Am The Damned is of when Emma gets in contact with Adam after not seeing him for 6 months…..

I knew.
I just knew.
I didn’t know and knew at the same time.
Adam had died that day 6 months ago.
I had killed him.
I had ended his life. His worries. His happiness. All gone because of me.
And yet here he was.
Sitting across from me. His dark curly hair slightly unkempt.
Was it because it was windy outside or he just forgot to comb it after showering?
His dark blue eyes penetrating my heart.
Nothing had changed.
What happened?
‘Emma, I’m glad I came to see you,’
I only stared.
‘I have been thinking about you since that night you came over,’ he paused. ‘I’m so sorry about the things I said to you,’
My eyes never left his face.
What was happening?
‘I….I havent been able to stop thinking about you, I’ve been so worried,’
I felt I had to say something. ‘What’s going on Adam? I don’t understand,’ I felt dizzy.
‘What do you mean?’ He touched my cheek.
I brushed his hand away. It felt so real. Yet….’I went to your funeral. I saw you in a coffin,’
Adam looked confused. ‘What?’
‘I put a letter in your coffin. Then the police took me away,’
After a moment, a penny dropped somewhere in his head. ‘It’s ok, you’ll be ok,’
‘About what?’
My senses started to blur and I felt my insides churning as if I was being flipped over and over again. ‘Adam, why have you made yourself appear to me?’
‘Because I love you,’
‘You’re a liar’
‘No, I’m not. I love you, Emma. I always have. I’m sorry for what happened that night, I have only myself to blame,’
‘You can’t love me anymore, you just cant. You’re not even real,’ I was starting to panic now. Everything felt so wrong and right at the same time.
‘Is there anything I can do, anything, to show you how sorry I am for what happened to you?’
What happened to me? What happened?
‘Why do you keep saying that Adam?’ I closed my eyes and prayed he would leave. Please, God, take him back. I don’t want him. I can’t.
I buried my head in my hands and started taking deep breaths. My panic attack was getting worse. I reached over and buzzed for Gary. I asked Adam to disappear, to come back another time. I couldn’t cope right now. I just couldn’t.
‘I’m coming back next week, ok Emmy?’
I didn’t respond.
I wanted to sink into a deep, deep sleep. I wanted to get rid of this hideous nightmare.
My hideous nightmare.
My hideous, eternal nightmare.

I’m feeling quite positive about where this is going and where I want Emma to end up. And how she ends up. I love the tragedy of it all but there’s a little healing in there somewhere. Maybe not in this excerpt but I do intend to be kind to Emma at some point 🙂

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